Twenty-Sixteen was draining, tough, suffocating and exhuasting.
I made a whole bunch of mistakes that defeated me this year and i didn’t know how to forgive myself, i learnt that happiness is temporary but joy last a little while more than temporary. In twenty-fifteen i learnt to let go and move on but in twenty-sixteen i fell right back into square one. It was so hard to let go of the hatred, anger and frustation deep down inside. I hate myself and i still do.
> Final year project (‘Lu:sid/)
Crazy bunch of team mates (Denzil, Chloe, Sharlene) that deal with my shit for the first semester of the year, lots of disagreement along the way but i’m very glad we managed to finish ‘Lu:sid/
> Stepping down DMIT Club (Public Relation Head/GL Trainer)
GL Training was really fun with my fellow trainers Cedric, who called me a milion time to wake me up in the morning so i wouldn’t be late and also Reynard who dealed with my shit. I think both of them had a fair share of dealing with my shit and also tolerating my nonsense and also my fellow GL(s) who made us vvvvvv proud!
> Bernard’s commissioning (OCS Infantry)
God damn it, i was so glad it was ovvvvvver for him and also me! i don’t have much to say about this, it was tough, crazy but also a good experience at the same time, i’m a vvvvvv proud girlfriend! and yes, he brought me along as his date for commission ball! (who else can he bring right? hahah jk.)
> Producing Internship (1-)
Internship is crazy but also really fun (with the right people, right crew) so far so good, i guess it’s “welcome to the real world” and honestly, the real production world is craaaaaazy but also really fullfilling, achivement unlock!! and best part, my batch of fellow interns are (y) (y) (y)
On a good note, i only fainted twice this year but meh, had a really bad stomach flu (i was bedridden for three days, the only three places i was at was the doctors, my room, the toilet to puke) conjunctivitis and also the usual fever/flu blah blah blah. Health has been really bad this year too.
I hope twenty-seventeen would be a better year with me making better choices but well, there is only so much you can do without losing yourself right ?
Celebrated my twenty-first birthday in advance on the 27th August just a week back after much consideration i cancelled the thought of having it at a hotel and had mine at SAF Treehouse Villa, Elok 12A. The place was amazing and also it’s a 10 to 15 minutes walk to Changi Village. There were only 14 villas so credits and thanks to Bernard’s sister’s boyfriend Aloysius who helped me to ballot and booked the place and even came to fetch and drove me to the location to check in (brother-in-law goals y’all). We had the villa for four days three nights (26 August – 29 August) for the price $390 which was really worth it and the villa was a lot bigger than i’ve expected, there were two bed rooms, two toilets (one downstairs and one upstairs), outdoor smoking area, living hall + open kitchen kinda concept and also bbq pit. Oh they provide free wifi, cable tv(s) and also some essential bbq stuff (that i didn’t use at all), cons : only one parking lot for one villa and also the check-out timing was at 10am which was mehhhh.
We checked in at approx three in the afternoon, had our lunch and waited for my red mart delivery + the boys (Dexter, John) to come with my helium tank and shortly my mum came afterwards and brought us out of dinner at Changi Village.
I guess my mum and me went slightly crazy and we were constantly worried about not having enough drinks/food so we ordered quite bit of stuff. Went back and the boys stayed up and prepared my birthday table (god damn it, thank god for them. this is friends 4 ever) my birthday table credits goes to Dexter, John, Xiang Rong and the boyf hue hue.
The theme of my birthday was Happily Twenty-First, Colour theme was Pink, White and Gold!
Woke up, prepared and went to Changi village with the boyf to have our brunch and went over to whitesands to collect my cupcakes and macarons !!! i forgot to take pictures of the macarons and the cupcakes because i was too excited ??? (sobs) but i got them from thecakewaltz and stole the pictures from their instagram too so credits to them!
> Cupcakes : Cookiebutter x Redvelvet x Salted Caramel
> Macarons : Earlgrey x Redvelvet x Salted Caramel
Went back and realised that my parents were there already and whoop prepared for the celebration at night. It was quite intense because there were so many people and i couldn’t talk to everyone (i tried i swear) but it was really hard with everyone around.
My first guest who arrived was Mr Lai (HAHAHAH) he was the first person to came and felt uncomfortable and kept asking if there’s anything he can helped with, thank u wen pang u have been a great help and also thank u for rushing down despite that u had something on!
and after that Bernard’s sister(s) and his older sister’s boyf came and i think the dda fags came and after that i forgot. it was so so so hectic but thank you everyone who came and the presents and all the love.
now the fact that i’m documenting this down in my wordpress i feel stupid because i didn’t take pictures of all the food ????? but
Thank you everyone who came down to celebrate my 21st with me, thank you for the surprise that my parents had planned with dexter and also the video montage that everyone had helped dexter in. I am greatly utterly blessed and loved.
(Pictures are in random order and i don’t have all the pictures with me so :-()
Credits to Dexter, Zul and Chap for the pictures! (Ps/ i designed the invitation myself)
I was honestly tired and very hungry that i started eating the cupcakes on my birthday table. help i think i’m the most unglam birthday girl ever and my Happily 21st cake topper is from circussg !
Day 2 ended with love, blessing, lots of shots and lots of puke.
Day 3 ended with lots of beer, lots of puke and also a good talk with Nat while the boys crash!
Photo Booth images !
Dylan had also kindly sponsored me Focalbooth’s Photo Booth service, after much discussion with him i decided on the gold background and the 3 images photostrip!
Focal booth is a company that provides Photo Booth service, it’s a self-service Photo Booth which provides photo printer / touch screen monitor / the full set up / props. It was great because there was something for my guest to do and i really like taking pictures and at least there’s something for my guest to bring home to remember and since it was a self-service Photo Booth there’s no photographer which is way less awkward!!! you can also re-take ur un-prepared pictures within five seconds till the next picture and they also provides live updates (live feed) on their Facebook and also the photostrips HD images and the HD individual pictures online which is a bonus!
I came home at 23:46, opened my room door and saw the letter i have been waiting for since 2014 on my table, i had a slight smirk on my face but that’s when i thought to myself, damn adult hood is here and yes, it’s my gst money. which i have been envy-ing since i was eighteen.
So, adult hood is here. i’m turning twenty-one in 26 days and yes, of course an advance celebration which will be held in 23 days (saturday) because my birthday falls on a tuesday.
Adult hood is scaring me, seeing how my friends and b are already paying their own bills scares me even more because i’m still living off my parents (yes even my phone bills) which isn’t going to last anymore. I’ve always dream and desire to meet my true love by the age of eighteen, get marry by twenty-five and give birth by twenty-eight but right now, at this exact moment i just want to finish my last year in poly, pass my interview and start working or even better get a place in a university (which is rlyyyyy hard because of my gpa), save up a sum of money or get more money in my cpf before settling down.
but geez, i can’t wait for my 21st celebration! most of the preparation has been settled, honestly thanks to the boyf’s sister and her boyfriend for helping me to ballot a place at SAF’s villa and also my mum for settling the catering (the amount of effort my mum is putting in just to make sure we can have pineapple fried rice is rly :’)) and yay. i’ve decided to get my ass back to blogging because i haven’t done it in a really long time and oh, if you have realize i bought my domain too so now it’s .com yay!
ah you little bitches would be saying “amanda is such a attention seeker since I don’t know why” “I don’t need 20-50 people to come and celebrate my 21st for me” ah u little bitches who can’t get over yourselves and yes i am attention seeking so what, did i get your attention now to slam me more online ? 😉
One week left till the semester break ends and break has been busy, busy and busy!
I have been really busy with GL training, production planning, production shoot, camp, packing for move, resting at home and also back in Bernard’s arm because he’s back from Brunei but …. he’s leaving again for Taiwan in a week time so it’s goodbye for another month.
Life has been in a mess since i ended camp, can’t seem to get back on track with my schedule + it’s the second week i’m sick and still have not recover yet and everyday’s a struggle to cope with …. i promise i’ll be back on track with this space soon.
1. A job is a job
2. We’re all huge liars
3. Everyone moves at a different pace
4. You still have time to figure everything out
5. It’s unfair to compare yourself to other people
6. Relationships ain’t everything
7. The little successes, matters too
8. The world is way different than it used to be
9. Believe it or not, you’re still super young
10. You’re doing better than you realize
Honestly, it was a 10/10 hit after i finished the article but i still gave myself a pat on my back agreeing that i am doing better than i realize. I might had fucked up lots of stuff in the past or maybe i am still doing it now but i’m pretty sure that i had done way better than what i’ve expected from myself so far. I haven’t had my life figured out yet, i still have zero idea what i’m going to do next, even now everyday’s a struggle to cope but …. at least i’m still alive and still trying, trying my best and for that, kudos to myself but still … it’s also time to get my life back into place and time waits for no man.
I promise i will get my life back into place, schedule sorted out fully and also be more committed to this space.